Why don't we pray to Heavenly Mother?

As an individual who has been blessed to grow up with both a mother and a father in my home, I've learned that each of my parents has a unique set of talents and strengths. There are times when I seek out the advice of my dad. There are other times when I only want to be comforted by my mom. Sometimes I need my father's calming spirit. Other times I need my mother's wisdom. But most of the time, I need them both because they complement each other and lead our family as equal partners.

Over the years I've developed a wonderful and close relationship with my Father in Heaven, but a part of me has always continued searching for my Mother in Heaven, because my spirit tells me that I need Her too. It's like my heart yearns for Her, misses Her, and wants to feel as close to Her as I do to my God. As I worked to learn more about Her, part of me wrestled with the concept of prayer because I couldn't understand why we didn't pray to Her too. If She is truly our Mother, and if She is truly equal with our Father, then She should be included in my personal prayers.

If you're like me and you've wondered similar things, that's good. You should be thinking about Her. You should be asking questions. I think so many people falter because they forget to learn the doctrine well enough to be able to really understand and defend their beliefs. So in my opinion, asking questions is a wonderful thing. (But you should also be searching for those answers in good, inspired places.) So let's look at the issue: why don't we pray to our Heavenly Mother?

The Purpose of Prayer

Before we can look at who we direct our prayers to, it's probably best to examine what prayer really is. What is its purpose? If it's simply a supplication to our God for mercy and grace, surely any omnipotent being could grant us our requests. But according to the Bible Dictionary, that isn't really what it is.

"Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them."

So yes, in some cases, prayer is a plea for help. But that isn't the main objective at all. Prayer is about aligning our will with God's, about aligning ourselves with God. We aren't changing Him; we're changing ourselves. In the simplest definition, prayer is all about striving to become one with heaven in heart, mind, and spirit. That means becoming one with God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, and our Heavenly Mother. They have already achieved this oneness with each other, which is why the Spirit can act as a messenger and why Christ could tell the people of Jerusalem the will of the Father. All of heaven is united in purpose and desire. We just need to figure out how to become one with Them too. (And when we do have moments of being one with Them, that's when we see real miracles happen.)

The Presiding Authority

If the will of our Mother is in alignment with the will of the Father, then why are we only praying to Him? Shouldn't She be just as equally involved in our lives? Well, yes. She is equally involved. And personally, I do think She hears our prayers. But that doesn't mean we should be praying directly to Her. Here's why:

President Russell M. Nelson is the President over the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That means that by Priesthood keys, power, and authority, he presides over the Church. And oftentimes, at meetings like General Conference, other speakers will direct many messages to him. Think about when speakers are giving progress reports or statistical updates. Many times these messages are directed toward the Prophet, though the information is for us all. Just because the message is directed toward him doesn't mean the other general authorities or general officers of the Church aren't listening. They are. But because President Nelson is the presiding authority, many messages are directed toward him. In the same way, we direct our prayers (pleas and progress reports) toward our Father in Heaven because He presides over heaven and earth. William P. McIntire reported the words of Joseph Smith from a discourse he gave in early 1841.

"[It is] the province of the Father to preside as the Chief or President, Jesus as the Mediator, and the Holy Ghost as the Testator or Witness."

(If you struggle with understanding women and the Priesthood, please don't stop reading here. I'll do my best to address parts of it here, but I'll do another, more in-depth post about that soon. For now, please hang in there with me. I know it's hard to understand sometimes.)

To preside is to give Christlike leadership. The Family: A Proclamation to the World outlines the ideal that the father should preside over the home, and Adam, the world's first father on earth, was directed to "rule over [Eve]," though Spencer W. Kimball commented on that command in an address to women in 1976.

“I have a question about the word rule. It gives the wrong impression. I would prefer to use the word preside because that’s what he does. A righteous husband presides over his wife and family.”

A presiding role is not meant to be a dictatorship, nor is our God a totalitarian ruler. Instead, it's a pattern of leadership. And yes, mothers are also powerful examples of Christlike leadership. In fact, the courageous actions and testimonies of Helaman's famous warriors are directly attributed to the strength and righteousness of their mothers. Mothers are powerful examples, especially to the youth of the world. But one of the Priesthood responsibilities that the men hold is to preside over their families. (And I promise to explain Priesthood roles better in a later post because women have active roles in the gospel too.)

God is the Father of our family. He has a responsibility to be a righteous leader for us. It is His Priesthood duty to try and bring us home. And that doesn't mean that our Heavenly Mother isn't working just as hard, or that She doesn't help lead this family we're a part of. She does. And They make decisions together because They are one. But out of respect for the Priesthood authority that God presides by, we direct our prayers to Him, just like the general authorities of the Church report to President Nelson. (And guess what? Our Mother in Heaven respects that Priesthood authority too, and She’s the strongest, most capable woman I know. Respecting Him does not disrespect Her.)

If you think She’s uninvolved in answering your prayers, I would strongly encourage you to reevaluate what you know about Her. Through a couple of poignant and powerful experiences I've had very recently, I can testify to you that She is abundantly involved in our lives and equally involved in the rulership of heaven. And if you don't know where to begin on getting to know Her, download the free guide below and study more about Her. Ask God your questions. Seek for the answers. Strengthen your conversion to the gospel.

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