31 Things I Believe: And Why They're Helping Me Survive

It’s been a rough few days; a string of days that's left me feeling hopeless and depressed. It's just one of those weeks that makes you work harder than ever before just to catch a glimmer of light, but... maybe it isn’t actually there at all. Maybe you’re just imagining things now.

Have you ever been where I am now?

To combat these thoughts, I try to remember where the light in my life comes from. When have I felt it? Where have I seen it? I turned to the scriptures tonight and read one of my all time favorite verses from Alma 26.

“Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.”

It’s the Lord. It’s always been Him. He’s been the one to give me success, comfort me when I’m depressed, and shine bright rays of hope and light into my life when I needed it most. He is the light, isn’t He? And if He is, how do I make that light come back during the hard weeks/months/years that I may experience?

Tonight I started to think about my testimony. After all, it’s my beliefs that I cling to when the winds and storms of life try to shake me down. It's my testimony that has always illuminated my way before. So what do I really believe?

I decided to write it down, line upon line.

1. I believe that God exists.
2. I believe that He is our Heavenly Father and that we also have a Heavenly Mother.
3. I believe that They love us very much, more than we can imagine even.
4. I believe that these Heavenly Parents watch over us and are involved in our lives, even when we can’t see Them.
5. I believe that They created us, and that we lived with Them before coming to Earth.
6. I believe that They provided a plan, a perfect plan that would balance justice and mercy, and would allow us to become more like Them.
7. I believe that plan required a Savior to atone for us.
8. I believe Jesus Christ is that Savior.
9. I believe that He atoned and died for me.
10. I believe that He atoned and died for you.
11. I believe that the Lord has spoken to His people through prophets and scriptures since the beginning of mortal life.
12. I believe that He continues to use prophets and scriptures to speak to His children. 
13. I believe that Joseph Smith was called to restore the gospel in this dispensation and I believe that God was active in aiding Joseph’s efforts.
14. I believe that the Book of Mormon is a true record of the ancient inhabitants of the Americas.
15. I believe the Book of Mormon is a companion to the Bible in testifying of Christ.
16. I believe that Russell M Nelson is the Lord’s chosen prophet in our day.
17. I believe that he and the brethren are inspired but not perfect.
18. I believe that they love us and that they are trying to do God’s will.
19. I believe that they, and we, can be guided in those efforts to run the Lord's errands.
20. I believe I was born in this day and age for a specific purpose, and I am striving to figure out what that purpose may be.
21. I believe that God has a work for me to do.
22. I believe that I can receive strength, hope, and forgiveness through the grace of Jesus Christ.
23. I believe that families live on together beyond death.
24. I believe I will be reunited with my loved ones someday.
25. I believe that I will be reunited with God someday, and I strive to make and keep covenants now that will help me return to Him later.
26. I believe that Christ lives.
27. I believe He loves us.
28. I believe He is good.
29. I believe He is steady.
30. I believe He is safety.
31. I believe in Him.

Does writing my beliefs make the hurt go away? No. But does it illuminate the dark a little bit more? Yeah, it does.

So if you're like me, and you've cried every day for the last five days, and you're exhausted, discouraged, and somehow certain that you'll feel this way forever, I invite you to hold on. Take a step back. Evaluate what you really believe. Let those beliefs ground you. Let them bring back a little bit of sunlight. No. Let your beliefs bring you the promise of sunlight in the future. Faith alone does not dispel broken hearts. But faith and endurance together will give you the needed time to hand over your heart to the Lord and let Him heal you.

Sunlight is coming. Do you believe that?